mayan zombie apocalypse

(Since we are winding down to the end of the church year this week, I thought I would share this bit of helpful information regarding the Mayan calendar, written by Pr. Sam Schuldheisz ...)

Over the past several years, the mysterious Maya calendar has remained at the epicenter of pop-culture and pop-Christianity’s chronic addiction to end-times mayhem. Men like Hal Lindsey and Harold Camping have routinely proven it really is a mad, mad world. Although these predictions will go the way of the Mayans, mankind’s obsession with conspiracy theories and end-times predictions will sadly never go away. So, here are a few questions to help clarify the present issue of the Maya calendar with the sobering clarity of Jesus’ Word on His return in glory.

What is the Maya Calendar?
It was a system of keeping time used by the Mayans in parts of Guatemala and Mexico during the Mesoamerican era. It was primarily based off a 260 and a 365 day count, incorporating cycles of 13 and typically round in format. The circular design of their calendar also reveals their concept of time, influenced by mythology, astronomy, recurring natural events and a cyclical interpretation of the world around them.  The Maya calendar used their mythological dating of creation and the world’s origin when arranging their calendar.

Does the Maya Calendar end on December 21, 2012?
No. Like all calendar systems, the Maya calendar is complex. Scholars and archaeologists continue to study these artifacts as new information surfaces. In a recent discovery last May, archaeologists documented further evidence against the alleged theory of the world’s end on December 21st.
In fact, due to the difference between the Gregorian and Maya calendar, some scholars claim that the end of the Maya calendar has already come and gone on October 28, 2011.

Will December 21st, 2012 be a day of death and destruction?
No ... at least not like it’s been hyped out to be.  The Mayans believed in a series of four previous “ages” each revolving around the destruction and rebirth of creation, much like the Aztecs and the Legend of the Suns. However, much of Mayan mythology is largely unknown and historical dates are either unknown or unverifiable, a clear contrast to the events of the historical record of the New Testament. The major events of Jesus’ life and work are verifiable for these things did not happen in a corner. Unlike Mayan mythology, Christianity is open to empirical investigation and our faith is founded on the most reliable set of historical events in our knowledge of the ancient world: Jesus’ death and resurrection. And though we do not know the day or the hour of Christ’s return, Christians can be confident that when He comes again, it will not occur in the sensational manner depicted by Hollywood. For those in Christ there is no need for despair or doubt. Jesus’ teaching on the end times is to prepares us for His return and give comfort, not excite fear and confusion.

Where did the frenzy surrounding the Mayan Calendar originate?
In the Last Days, people prey on others’ insecurities exciting fear and instilling doubt. The recent Maya calendar madness is similar to the Y2K craze we saw in 2000. Media hucksters and snake oil scholars will say or write anything to make headlines or meet the bottom line. Proponents typically draw upon unreliable sources and questionable sources while the philosophical underpinnings flow out of  New Age mysticism, astrology, and Eastern philosophy. There really is nothing new under the sun.

How should Christians react to this, and other end-times predictions?
First of all, we should discern the times we live in. Since Jesus’ death and resurrection, we are living in the Last Days. And in the last days many will turn away from the truth and find false teachers to sooth the Old Adam’s itching ears, no matter how it’s repackaged. Jesus also predicted that in this world we will have trouble  but to fear not, for he has overcome the world and has promised to always be with His Church.
Secondly, anyone who attempts to predict or claim confidence in knowing the date of Jesus’ return is sorely mistaken teaching contrary to Jesus’ own teaching. Based on the Scripture’s lucid witness, we know that ...

1) Jesus will return
2) No one knows the exact time
3) So we should be prepared, keep watch and stay awake, always being prepared to give a reasoned defense (apologia) for the hope that is in us.

And finally, though man has twisted Jesus’ words causing great folly and error, we do not on that account throw out the doctrine altogether. Rather, we confess this article of doctrine faithfully each week in the Creeds. There is no better preparation for Christ’s second Advent than his ongoing Advent in the Holy Supper and the living voice of the Gospel. In the Divine Service Christ continues to dwell among us preparing us for His return. Ultimately, this is the chief purpose for Jesus’ teaching on the End Times. Not to cause confusion and despair, but give consolation and hope. In mercy, he delays his return. And until He does, He keeps our feet from stumbling and presents us as blameless in His presence. Even so, come quickly, Lord Jesus.

screwtape gives thanks (from internet monk)

My Dear Wormwood,

It is that time once again when your patient, along with all those living in his country, set aside a day to give thanks. It is a deplorable idea, this “giving thanks,” and one that a team assembled by Our Father Below has been working diligently for some years to neutralize. Great strides are being made, and we have hope that one day soon we will turn this “day of thanksgiving” into just another excuse for fulfilling of selfish pleasures and of coveting what one does not already possess or need. Until that day, it is your responsibility, as it is for all junior tempters, to keep your patient from truly having a thankful heart. Fortunately, recent research has turned up methods which appear promising on this front.

The very act of being thankful is reprehensible to those who followed Our Father Below from the depths of the Enemy’s territory into the glorious realm where we now abide. By giving thanks, one is admitting a need for someone or something. And that admission of need leads to no longer being self-sufficient. It was on this point that the Enemy pressed Our Father, leading to the glorious march into Hell where we none of us needs be thankful to anyone. If I am thankful, it is not because I have been given anything. It is because I have found the power to take what I want when and where I desire.

How do you keep your patient from being disgustingly thankful? Here are some procedures laid out in the latest Tempters Training Manual, written by yours truly.

1. Keep your patient from ever seeing he is dependent on anyone else. Self-reliance, Wormwood, is the key to self-destruction. Be sure to point out those around him who are self-made men, those who never need receive anything from another. Professional athletes are good examples, as are movie and television stars. Never mind that these people are some of the neediest humans alive. Your patient need only see their public persona and be made to believe they have achieved success by their own efforts, not with the help of others. Awake in your patient the desire to never be in debt to anyone. Your colleague Gluberfest has made great strides with what is now referred to as “humanism,” encouraging the notion that, if they try hard enough, each human can achieve their own level of greatness. Keep your patient thinking that he needs no one to help him achieve his own greatness, and you will keep gratitude at bay.

2.  Greed is an excellent defense against being thankful. Coveting what one does not have keeps one from being appreciative of what he does have. If your patient begins to say, “I’m thankful for the food I have,” let him see an advertisement for something even better. The reason we encourage those in advertising (some of our greatest recruits to Our Father have been placed in the field of advertising, as you know, or as you would know if you paid attention to what you have been taught) to show very large portions of food is to make any other portion look miserable and, as an effect, make the one seated before the smaller portion feel miserable. How can one give thanks for a single serving when a double serving would, obviously, be so much better?

3. To go along with greed, we have painstakingly made the day after their giving of thanks the number one shopping day for humans in your patient’s country. Advertisements will clutter the newspaper and TV all day on Thursday, promising great enjoyment if one will only venture forth in the early hours of Friday. Of course, there is nothing available on Friday your patient could not buy the next Wednesday, if he really needs to buy it, but it is the thrill of the hunt, Wormwood, that we are going for. Make your patient see that he must have something right away, and he will not bother being thankful for what he has. If you play this right, he will even despise what he has today in the hopes of obtaining something greater tomorrow. This is an endless cycle that will continue when we possess that one in Hell.

4. Distraction cannot be discounted as a weapon against thanksgiving. The busy-ness of cooking, eating and cleaning can, with skill, be used to keep humans from stopping, even for a moment, to say thank you for what they are cooking, eating, and cleaning up after. Crying children, argumentative relatives and nagging spouses can all supply much delight to you if you apply them correctly to distract your patient from being thankful.

5. Finally, there is the discontent with those things your patient is supposed to be thankful for. All food, for instance, is not universally enjoyed. If your patient does not care for carrots, be sure that there are plenty of carrots on the table. And then have the person who brought the carrots speak up loudly to say how she worked hours peeling and slicing and cooking the carrots, and how offended she will be if your patient does not eat at least two helpings of carrots. Take this home, Wormwood, and not only will your patient expel any notion of thanksgiving, but he will embrace hatred of the carrot-bringer with great vigor. If you can do this, your fun will have just begun.

I do want to say that I am thankful in my own way. I am thankful that I am not like you, a junior tempter with little hope of climbing to my level. I am thankful that Our Father seems to have better things to do these days than to inflict torment on me. And I am thankful for the warmth of my office, fueled with the souls whom I led into Our Father Below’s kingdom by keeping them from being givers of thanks.

Your affectionate uncle,

Screwtape

orion

so good to see you, old warrior and friend
what have you been up to, o where have you been?
it's been months, i believe, not since last spring
when you fell under the horizon as church bells did ring

did you take the dogs hunting, chasing taurus the bull?
or was it rest that you needed, still, calm, and peaceful?
whatever it was, and wherever you've been
we need you to come back now to help us again

We need your club, your belt, and your shield
we need you right now - leave your prey in the field
somehow it seems we have lost our own way
we could use some assistance while it is still day

for it won't be long until winter approaches
even sooner yet for the darkness encroaches
orion, great hunter, please come help us to find
where we have misplaced our heart, soul, and mind